August 30, 2011

Just got home from the pediatrician...Peter weighs 9 lbs, 12 oz...AND, Dr D says he is ready to be off oxygen!! We are keeping it until Thursday as he wants to make sure the NICU doctors agree...please keep Peter's little lungs in your prayers over the next few days...we're hoping they agree...

August 29, 2011

Today would be Peter's one month birthday had he been born on his due date . . . as I reflect back on what I expected my pregnancy and his birth to be like I am wistful for what should have been and still thankful for what actually was . . .

When I found out I was pregnant I can honestly say I wasn't overwhelmed with feelings of elation. Brad and I had truly come to terms with the fact that it was going to be just us two. We had really started to focus on living our life with no regrets and moving toward the carefree lifestyle of the DINKS we were. I had just lost 140 pounds and was feeling pretty confident that I could lose the last 30 to get down to my goal. Life was good . . . and then, the fateful two lines...

I was "happy" the first time I saw that little blob on the ultrasound screen . . . I got a little choked up the first time I heard the little thump, thump of his tiny heart . . . I was totally smitten by the time I saw that extra little appendage and announced to our family "it turns out, I have a penis!" . . .

Then, in my typical over-planning fashion I began compiling "the plan" . . .

What will we need to buy (and I made a list divided by store)

What will we need to take to the hospital (and I made a list of things to pack ahead)

How much time will I take off work (and I made a list of how perfect having a baby in July is)

What type of birth do I want to have (and I made a list of pros and cons - yes, epidural- no, water birth)

What classes do I need to sign us up for (and I made a list)

Then I started really thinking . . .

I can't do this (and Brad made me watch "Teen Mom" if they can do this, I certainly can)

Maybe I can do this without the epidural . . . (probably not, but maybe I'll try)

Will I love him from the start (or will I resent him for making me fat :)

I better get some books ("What to Expect...")

Then, my blood pressure went up . . .

Things were moving way too quickly (let's just get you to 35 weeks - what happened to 40???)

Things were moving way to slowly (bedrest sucks)

I was still thinking everything would be ok . . .

I was looking forward to getting all plump and distended (its part of the experience, right)

I was looking forward to rushing to the hospital (we only live 6 blocks away, not too dramatic)

I was looking forward to the contractions (ok, not the bad ones, but the first ones where you know it is almost time)

I was looking forward to having Brad rub my back during labor (anything for rubs!)

I was looking forward to that final painful push (that means my little man is here and safe)

I was looking forward to his slimy little body being laid on my chest for the first time (and you all know how I feel about sauce)

I was looking forward to putting him in his coming home outfit (cute little elephant)

I was looking forward to our family welcoming us home (with signs and balloons on the front door)

I was looking forward to that first nap on the sofa (all snuggly as a family)

But, none of that ever happened . . .

Right now, pregnant women the world over are complaining . . .

I'm so hot . . .

My ankles are the size of my thighs...

I can't breathe . . .

Did I mention that I am hot?!? . . .

These contractions are the devil . . .

C-Sections are incredibly painful (ok, I did get to experience that one)

I would have given anything to be hot, out of breath, contracting, distended, exhausted and miserable just to let my sweet little boy stay in a perfect environment . . .

The problem was, my environment wasn't perfect . . .

The blood flow to Peter's placenta was diminishing rapidly

The amniotic fluid was depleted

There was a blood clot on the placenta

Peter could not grow in this environment

So, he was delivered, 10 weeks early via c-section . . .

I walked into the hospital, never having had a single contraction

I spent two full days on magnesium sulfate . . . sick, sicker than I have ever been

I got two painful steroid shots . . .

I walked into the operating room . . . there were 16 people in the room, not counting me or Peter

Brad was outside the door (scared and heartbroken)

I had two spinals, neither of which worked . . .
I was put under general anesthesia . . .

I woke up so itchy I could barely stand it . . .

They gave me drugs to helps . . .

They made me nauseaous . . .

They gave me more drugs to help with that . .

I didn't see Peter for the first 12 hours of his life and if I am being totally honest I don't remember that

I spent 9 days in the hospital

I didn't get to touch Peter until days after he was born

I missed out on ALOT . . .

BUT

I was still blessed by so many things that those hot, out of breath, contracting distended, exhausted, miserable women experience . . .

10 fingers and 10 toes (albeit tiny)

the first cry (after 5 days on the venitlator)

snuggling, skin to skin (with the help of a nurse to position him just right so all his wires were still in place)

love, incredible, immediate, powerful and life-altering(there's no caveat to this one - it just is)

worrying if he's eating enough (if not, he had to have it fed through a tube)
is he breathing? (just a quick check of the monitor let me know)

the first day home (exhausted, but not as much as the "other" women...my c-section healed weeks ago)

So, here we are . . . three months later (what should have been one month later)

He has worn that cute little elephant outfit (and outgrown it)

We got an awesome banner from our family welcoming him home (when he was almost two months old)

We snuggle on the sofa ALL the time

Peter is beautiful . . . he is cuddly and a wiggle worm and very serious.

I love him with intesity beyond my grasp . . .

I want everything for him . . .

I want him to experience all the joys of this world . . .

and none of the hurts . . .

I want him to know that my love is neverending, unconditional and all-encompassing . . .

August 28, 2011

If you didn't get married 40 years ago, today...I wouldn't be here!

Peter is excited that GrampS & Grammy are coming for a visit in only three more sleeps . . . he doesn't understand that this visit is actually a cause for concern . . . Grammy is a nibbler (she just can't get enough of those piggies) and GrampS will have to thoroughly examine him (yes, his ears are still tucked back and no, he cannot eat ice cream yet!)

Peter has a big week coming up...Tuesday we head to Dr D for a regular checkup. We can't wait to see how much our chunker weighs now (stay tuned)...Wednesday, we are headed to the airport to pick up GrampS & Grammy...Thursday we head to the NICU for another follow-up visit (please pray that Peter is ready to be removed from all oxygen support)...Friday we head to the Traverse City area for a fun-filled family weekend (Uncle Drew will get to meet Peter for the first time - Drew has put everyone on notice that he has exclusive rights to Petey so people better get their snuggles in before he arrives...I am fine with this plan as long as he understands that "Petey" really likes snuggles at 1:30am) That's all for now . . . we'll have lots of pictures after next weekend I am sure.

August 22, 2011

How cute am I?
Rockin' out with my maracas
Fat Rolls . . . nuff said!

Mister Seahorse

See, I can push up . . . that doesn't mean I'm happy about it though!

As I sit here on the love seat with my sweet little boy snoozing on my chest, I am overwhelmed by so many emotions I never thought I would encounter...

Anxiety: is he eating enough? is his breathing ok? are we doing enough tummy time?

Joy: the feel of his little arms wrapping around my neck when I pick him up

Fear: will he know how abundantly he is loved?

Awe: his rosebud lips, his pool blue eyes, his oh so chubby cheeks

Frustration: will he just smile already?!?!?!

Love: like I didn't know could exist for such a tiny human being

It has been three months since Peter Ponks joined our family. The NICU seems like a distant memory . . . one that we will never forget and that we look upon fondly now that the uncertainty of our stay there has passed. We had amazing nurses, doctors and therapists that really helped Peter . . . I like to say they pushed him to succeed without stressing him out . . . and he is succeeding . . . Peter holds his head up on his own 90% of the time (with the drooping head happening after a bottle or when he is really sleepy . . . and let's be honest . . . how many of you can say you haven't nodded off in an ungraceful position after a particularly satisfyng meal?)...in addition, during tummy time, he pushes up to straight arms (those of you with little ones know what I mean, but I don't know how else to say it) and sometimes he will roll over (not consistently and I think it is more of a lucky happenstance than anything else).

I don't have a weight/length for Peter as we don't head back to the pediatrician until next week . . . however, I do know for sure that he is over 9 pounds and taller than 20". We still have his oxygen tether, but are really hoping we can discontinue that after our September 1st visit to the NICU follow-up clinic (keep Peter in your prayers on this one - we spend about half the day with the cannula prongs outside of Peter's nose and he does fine).

We are truly blessed by our little hero . . . I'll post pictures tomorrow when the camera battery is charged and I can upload them (give a new mom a break . . . I shower every day, take Peter for a walk everyday and make dinner 75% of the time . . . sometimes I'm a little lax with the picture uploads!) - ok, pics are posted . . .

August 9, 2011

Peter and I visited Dr D for a follow-up appointment this morning...he weighed 8 lbs, 6 oz...other than that, no changes...

August 7, 2011

Peter has started to hold onto things (like his maracas) . . . but, his new favorite "thing" is Elmer, his elephant. I just had to share this picture because Elmer started out on Peter's lap . . . when I turned around he had pulled him up to this position . . . . so sweet! (**I am editing this blog posting to note that Peter is getting so tall that his little PJs are starting to be too short . . . if you weren't already certain, this confirms that he is a Scholtens)
Peter finally got to meet his cousin's, Mac and Bennett yesterday. They were both anxious to meet him . . . the NICU only allows siblings in to visit (and even that is strictly limited). Both Mac and Bennett were incredibly gently with Peter . . . we can't wait for Peter to be able to play with the little guys . . . they'll have so much fun together (and probably cause lots of trouble!) Peter also got in some good snuggle time with Uncle Kurt & Aunt Whitney . . .

Bennett and Peter
Mac and Peter (these two cuddled alot)

Three Peas in a Pod (ok, really on a chair, but it sounds cuter that way)

Where's Bennett? He's in the picture but was ready to be done for the day!

August 4, 2011

It has been awhile since our last post because we are having so much fun with Peter that by the time I sit down to write I am too tired...don't get me wrong, Peter is not making me tired...it is just all the "other stuff" that new moms have to deal with...I will say no more except that Brad and I had to break down and buy a chest freezer...a lovely new decorative piece of furniture in our dining room!

Anyway...Peter had a follow-up appointment regarding his oxygen yesterday. Unfortunately, he is still tethered to the wretched oxygen...we had the most conservative of the doctors yesterday and we are quite certain that had we had someone else, he would be oxygen-free...oh well, the oxygen is a good reminder to people to not touch Peter without first washing their hands...In more exciting news though...

Our 2 lb, 9 oz boy with 0% body fat now weighs 8 POUNDS!!!!! He is also 19 3/4" tall...

I have some new pics to upload, but the little man is hungry so I will have to do that later...I will be sure to upload tomorrow as Peter is going to meet his cousins for the first time...should be a fun day!